Larry Johnson keeps piling up the PQE’s. Today he apologized publicly for his stupid slurs and Tweets.  Public apologies are worth 25 points, as you know. Then, not satisfied with his apology, the Chiefs sent him home, and then announced publicly that he was sent home pending behavioral review.  Embarassing.  And another 45 points. That’s a total of 70 points in one day from Mr. Johnson.  Wonder what he has to say today about how rich and untouchable he is? Of course, once the review is done, I fully expect an official suspension, which would grant his owners even more points.  Yikes,...

Chargers rookie linebacker Larry English, who has a better billiards name than a football name, is now $7,500 lighter in the wallet thanks to a fine for a horse-collar tackle in the Denver game. I wish I had something funny to say about this, but I kind of used up everything I had on that billiards line. Anyway, if for some reason you picked English for your squad–or the Chargers–you just earned 30 more points.  Hooray for horse collars!  I mean… hooray for horse tackles!  Whatever.  Hey, how did they come up with a name for that move, anyway… are there tons of people...

What they should do is fine the Titans for sucking.  But since that’s not going to happen, we have to settle for fines related to hits.  Apparently, it’s not enough that the Titans lost 59-0 and then had their coach cracking jokes about them this week… the league would like to further embarrass and depress them by fining them. Chris Hope was fined $10,000 and Tony Brown $5,000 for actions the league deemed excessive in Sunday’s beat down. You’d think the league would realize that these fines aren’t working, just by how many they’re handing out.  But I guess...

New Orleans linebacker Jonathan Vilma has been fined $10,000 for hitting Eli Manning in the head–which is a lot more than Archie used to fine Peyton or Cooper for doing the same thing when they were kids. Anyway, fines are worth 30 points.  Vilma and Saints owners are big winners. Tweet This...

Chad has done it again. By wearing a black chin strap, he incurred the league’s wrath and earned a $10,000 fine. In the preseason, he was fined for wearing an orange chin-strap.  I guess the league is quite serious about the proper chin strap usage.  Good thing they already figured out how to stop concussions and help out retired former players.  ‘Cause now they can take all the resources they were devoting to those silly causes and put it toward stamping out illegal chin-straps once and for all. Ochocinco earns his owners (and Bengals owners) another 3o points for the fine. Tweet This...