Fantasy Unsports » Impending PQEs

Flurry Of PQEs Before The Leaderboard Update

Commissioner — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 19:48:43 +0000

The Saints have sent Charles Grant to IR. Bummer, dude. 60 Points.
The Pats have lost Wes Welker for the rest of the season. So in other words… we’ve now been shown why resting your players is stupid (Colts) and why resting your players is smart (Welker), all in the span of 7 days. Excellent. 60 Points.
Chris Johnson knows he had help in getting his 2,000 yards. To show his thanks, he has purchased Rolexes for his entire O-line, his fullback, and tight end Alge Crumpler. We’ll give this one 50 points.
The Bills fired their entire coaching staff, including the coordinators. It’s called cleaning house, I guess. 30 Points.
The Redskins fired Jim Zorn. 30 Points. Least surprising move ever.
The Giants have fired their defensive coordinator, whose name is Bill Sheridan. Never heard of him. 30 Points.
And the Bears have fired offensive coordinator Ron Turner. His offense was very offensive. 30 Points.

A Series Of Unfortunate Football Events (PQE Pile)

Commissioner — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 16:57:36 +0000

Hey all. The Leaderboard is almost done… just have to get up these morning PQE notices and add them in… then the latest spreadsheet will go up.

Here are some PQE’s from this morning:

Okay, that’s it for now. Leaderboard in 20 minutes tops.

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On Deck: Lendale White, Richard Seymour, & Big Ben

Commissioner — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:09:55 +0000

Following a few stories in the NFL that could quickly turn into PQEs:

Lendale White is threatening to once again stomp on the Terrible Towel. You may remember last year, when the Steelers visited Tennessee, several Titans stomped on the yellow cloth that Pittsburgh apparently thinks is holy.For the record, I’ve never seen a bunch of grown men–tough guys–look and sound so much like preschoolers than when the Steelers were talking last year about how offensive that towel-stomping was… what a ridiculous and stupid waste of emotion to be offended by what happens to a freaking towel. Not a person. Not a logo. A cheap trinket handed out by ticket takers. I wouldn’t be offended if the Steelers stomped on my rally cap or my thunder sticks.
So this is already a groan-inducing story for me. But apparently Lendale wants to stir the pot. I can see it escalating to something that causes a PQE pretty quickly.
Richard Seymour has still not shown up to the Raiders facilities. What is going on here? The Raiders are playing coy with the statements, suggesting there are issues between Seymour and the Patriots. The Patriots essentially said “He’s not on our roster, so we can’t comment.” What is this dude’s deal? Is he waiting until he can sell his house? Are there domestic issues to be worked out? Is he on suicide watch from having been traded to the freaking Raiders? Is he in self-defense classes for when Tom Cable comes after him? I don’t see anything on the PQE list that this would qualify as for now… but this story could easily turn into something bigger.
Ben Roethlisberger’s accuser has offered him a settlement. Awww… isn’t that nice of her? The truth of the matter is that major celebrities and large corporations are often forced to settle, even when lawsuits have no merit. It’s just far easier and cheaper and faster to settle and move on… it is, in fact, why a lot of litigious leeches file lawsuits to begin with. At any rate, I don’t see Ben accepting the settlement, primarily because it calls for him to admit he assaulted her and write an apology letter. Not going to happen, lady, regardless of whether he’s guilty or not. But again, this new wrinkle could force an outcome that results in points for some of you, so I’m keeping my eye on it.

Be on the lookout for any PQE’s you see in the media… feel free to send me a tip when you think I’ve missed one.

Oh, and we’re up to 118 players now… sweet! Keep spreading the word so we can get into “serious prize” territory.

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