Jeff Fisher ripped into Lane Kiffin over the weekend after the new USC coach managed to poach the Titans’ RB coach, Kennedy Pola.  It seems there’s a great deal of money for Pola and a walk-on roster spot for his son in the deal.  Problem is, his contract with the Titans states that he needs written permission before he can even entertain another job.  So Fisher is pissed.  And he must be really pissed, because now he’s suing his former college for maliciously interfering in a contract situation.  Yikes.

Anyone remember an NFL team ever suing a college team before?  Has this ever happened?  I don’t think it has.

I doubt it’ll go anywhere, but maybe it will.  Seems strange that the Titans would sue if they didn’t think they could win.  But since all this looks like an overblown way to take a stand on principle or prove a point, maybe they won’t win.  Maybe it’s just the symbolism of it all.

Either way, I figure an NFL team suing a college one is probably worth some points… 90 to be exact.

Oh, and Lane Kiffin is a weasel and a snake, with virtually no more head coaching success than I have.

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Dez Bryant is a precious snowflake, and considers himself above such childish pranks.  So he says.  He says he was drafted to play football, not carry pads.

Um… you get what you pay for Cowboys.  So when you draft a guy that plummeted through the first round because of a reputation for being difficult… viola!  You gain a difficult player who is already pissing off the veteran teammates at his position.  Awesome.  He’s T.O. Junior, only without a single actual accomplishment in the NFL.

I’m calling this little entitlement fit as a “tantrum at practice” and am awarding the requisite 25 points for it.

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Ravens cornerback Cary Williams has been suspended 2 games for a violation of the personal conduct policy.  There is no indication at all as to what his violation was, but it happened while he was still on the Titans roster.

Shaun Rogers, of the Browns, spotted a drunk driver on the road.  So he did what any of us would have done… he called the cops and followed the drunk until the police showed up to arrest him.  The police said some very nice things about Rogers’ involvement and how they wouldn’t have been able to catch the guy without him.  That’s a pretty awesome story, and it’s hard to even find a punchline to write… but I should at least casually toss in another reference to this same Shaun Rogers arrest at an airport for possession of a firearm.  So… he may be helping to cut down on drunk driving, but he’s no friend to aviation enthusiasts.  55 points.

Congrats to you guys.  By the way, all but one of these were brought to my attention by your competitors… so be aware that you can help your team’s chances by alerting me to infractions I may have missed.

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Look… Drew’s new book may be the best thing ever put to paper.  But you can’t tell me that Brees, Payton, and Rex Ryan’s books are all three absolutely necessary to the cultural landscape.  Did Chris Johnson write a book about breaking the combined yards record?  No, no he did not.  Is the newest fad in the NFL to write a book about yourself after one good season?  Shoot, Rex Ryan only has one season as a coach under his large belt.

In an age where the media seems finally ready to rip on diva behavior in athletes–I’m specifically thinking of Lebron’s self-aggrandizing hour-long special–I think we need at least one person to stand up and say “writing books after one season of decent work is probably just as selfish as Lebron’s Decision.”  And I will be that person.

40 points for Drew Brees’ owners.

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So… thanks to Chris and Randy, both of whom reminded me that this event is probably point-worthy:

Mike Vick, skipping out on little football camp kids.  I’ve made that a 60 point infraction, because it’s extra cruel.  All those kids wanted to do was learn how to play football from someone that would rather kill dogs, but they couldn’t even do that.  They had to learn it from some local YWCA volunteer after Vick stood them up.  60 points.

What’s that?  He’s not allowed to leave the state?  Then don’t agree to go to out-of-state football camps, you moron.

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Pete Carroll just earned some points for releasing a book–good timing, Pete… next time, try releasing the book BEFORE the scandal comes out about your previous job. Worth 40 points.  I’m sure it’s full of good insight on how to get your championships stripped.

Mike Williams of the Redskins will miss the entire year with a medical condition.  Poor guy.  That’s 60 points, though.

And Chad Ochocinco has declared this is the year the Bengals will win the Super Bowl–and that after that he’ll sign with the Miami Heat and win an NBA championship.  Nice.  Worth 25 points.

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It makes total sense that the guy who started his own news organization and iPhone app last year would up the ante by pulling a Bret Michaels on us.  Chad–there’s no one in the NFL more deserving of love, man.  I hope you find it.

And I hope you guys are seriously considering adding this man to your roster, because this is just the tip of the Ochocinco iceberg.  80 Points to you owners with Chad on your team.  Good call.

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1. Jets coach Rex Ryan–who has only the one year of head coaching experience–is cashing in on his status as one of the more colorful coaches in the league, and has announced a book deal with Doubleday.  Wonderful.  That’s worth 25 points.  Congrats to you Jets owners.  You earned the first points of the season.

2. And Sean Payton, the coach of the Super Bowl Champion Saints, is releasing a book.  Good for you Sean.  40 points to those of you with Payton on the squad.

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So… thanks With Leather.  You rock a lot harder than you know.

If you’d like to play our free fantasy football alternative game, just click “Sign Up/In” over there to your right… takes about 30 seconds.  Let’s all join in the fun of assigning randomly-chosen point values to the stupid things NFL players do!

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Other people feel bad for the team, since they have a contract and Chris Johnson is refusing to honor it.

Me?  I try not to feel sorry for millionaires bickering over half a million dollars.

CI’m just glad the two sides are in opposition to each other, so that I have things we can award points for… like whining on Twitter about not getting paid.  Of course, we don’t start scoring for another two weeks, but…

Johnson also displayed fantastic grammar and text-speak with gems like this:

“Its like how do u expect ur players to give they all and not put their bodies on the line when you not willing to give them what they deserve. How do u want player 2 honor their contract but the team dot have to honor it. If u dont wnt 2 pay a player early dont cut a player early.”

Chris Johnson scored lots of points last year in Fantasy UnSports… and he’s on track to be another good earner this year.  Consider adding him to your squad, because this contract thing is going to get worse before it gets better.

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